The return of the garden gnome

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A few weeks ago the drain, that the Irish flag layer tinkered with back in July, blocked. It is my husbands' department to unblock drains so when he was unable to get the drain rods down the drain he contacted the Irish flag layer (aka the garden gnome) and asked him to return to sort out the problem with the drain. For about two weeks, until the Irish flag layer returned, we had food from the waste disposal strewn around the patio, that he had laid in August. Water would go down the drain in small quantities. Trying to put too much water down at one time resulted in the area around the drain being flooded. You are probably thinking that it serves us right for having a waste disposal. We live in the country. If food is put into the dustbin bag animals invariably sabotage it and we have the contents of our rubbish bag strewn around our drive and out into the lane. The alternative could be to put the food on the compost heap, but not all food is suitable for this method of disposal and putting food on the compost heap attracts animals to it. Consequently, a waste disposal is quite a sensible thing to have.

After several phone calls between the Irish flag layer and my husband, the Irish flag layer and me, my husband and the Irish flag layer and myself and the Irish flag layer, he phoned one morning to say that he was in the area and would be round shortly provided the weather was not 'too wet'. It wasn't when he phoned but not long afterwards I decided that it probably was and that he would not turn up. It was that very cold Tuesday, at the end of October, when it rained, snowed and sleeted. There was an unexpected (on my part) knock on the front door. I opened it to find two drowned rats - the Irish flag layer and a mate. I was asked if it was 'too wet' for me to open the side gate so that they could get round to the patio at the back. 'How wet is too wet?' I thought. OK, the path was flooded and the garden was very wet but I have a cagoule and a pair of wellington boots. So I dressed myself up for the wet weather and opened the gate for him then retreated indoors to kept an eye on things from the kitchen. As it happens the gutter above the drain is broken and it drips. I am sure that having icy water trickling down your neck concentrates the mind and there is a knack to removing the inner sleeve of the drain. He managed to clear the drain in a few minutes. No chance of a shirtless flag layer today. He was wearing an acid yellow, fluorescent jacket with a hood. The garden gnome had become a hoody!