Tuesday, November 25, 2008

The return of the garden gnome

Please read the links.

A few weeks ago the drain, that the Irish flag layer tinkered with back in July, blocked. It is my husbands' department to unblock drains so when he was unable to get the drain rods down the drain he contacted the Irish flag layer (aka the garden gnome) and asked him to return to sort out the problem with the drain. For about two weeks, until the Irish flag layer returned, we had food from the waste disposal strewn around the patio, that he had laid in August. Water would go down the drain in small quantities. Trying to put too much water down at one time resulted in the area around the drain being flooded. You are probably thinking that it serves us right for having a waste disposal. We live in the country. If food is put into the dustbin bag animals invariably sabotage it and we have the contents of our rubbish bag strewn around our drive and out into the lane. The alternative could be to put the food on the compost heap, but not all food is suitable for this method of disposal and putting food on the compost heap attracts animals to it. Consequently, a waste disposal is quite a sensible thing to have.

After several phone calls between the Irish flag layer and my husband, the Irish flag layer and me, my husband and the Irish flag layer and myself and the Irish flag layer, he phoned one morning to say that he was in the area and would be round shortly provided the weather was not 'too wet'. It wasn't when he phoned but not long afterwards I decided that it probably was and that he would not turn up. It was that very cold Tuesday, at the end of October, when it rained, snowed and sleeted. There was an unexpected (on my part) knock on the front door. I opened it to find two drowned rats - the Irish flag layer and a mate. I was asked if it was 'too wet' for me to open the side gate so that they could get round to the patio at the back. 'How wet is too wet?' I thought. OK, the path was flooded and the garden was very wet but I have a cagoule and a pair of wellington boots. So I dressed myself up for the wet weather and opened the gate for him then retreated indoors to kept an eye on things from the kitchen. As it happens the gutter above the drain is broken and it drips. I am sure that having icy water trickling down your neck concentrates the mind and there is a knack to removing the inner sleeve of the drain. He managed to clear the drain in a few minutes. No chance of a shirtless flag layer today. He was wearing an acid yellow, fluorescent jacket with a hood. The garden gnome had become a hoody!

20 comments:

Maggie May said...

I had to read this through a couple of times!!! To find out who was who! I found it very funny!

Hope you got the problem sorted out! By the gnome in a hoody!

The Dotterel said...

'course if he really was a garden gnome he'd have had it sorted in a jiffy - and done something with the weather!

Akelamalu said...

LOL that was very entertaining but not as entertaining as watching the gnome work in the rain eh?

Ladybird World Mother said...

He came! Hope all is now sorted... and HOORAY for waste disposals. I have one. Its my son.

Sandi McBride said...

You should have given him a good hiding for blocking the drain to start with! I never did trust those Garden Gnomes...all teeth and eyes and twinkles where there oughten be! Glad for your drain, tho...
Sandi

Susie Vereker said...

Made me smile too, but don't you have wheelie bins in Cheshire? Animals don't seem to attack them.

Neighbours have sturdy home- compost bin but it is a bit smelly and scary.

imbeingheldhostage said...

You timed that all wrong.. a shirtless gnome could be so much more interesting to watch...

cheshire wife said...

Sandi - the gnome did not block the drain. It was blocked by food from the waste disposal unit.

Susie - no we don't have wheelie bins for rubbish here. We have black sacks.

Gill - That British Woman said...

it also took me a couple of times reading this to figure out who was who as well,

Funny story though,

Gill

Strawberry Jam Anne said...

Could just imagine all of this, everyone trudging about in the rain. Was the gnome worth keeping an eye on though CW?

A x

david mcmahon said...

Gnomes are big in Melbourne!

Mima said...

So glad that you finally got it all sorted, but great to have someone you can call on in a situation like this to come and help you out - makes all the difference!

If your gnome is worth looking at, can I borrow him for my garden?!!

cheshire wife said...

SJA & Mima - sorry, to disappoint but the gnome is definitely nothing to look at.

Zip n Tizzy said...

It's a winter gnome... perhaps an elf?
Funny visuals...
And speaking of visuals, that's a beautiful patio!
Nice work.

Jan said...

Just fell into your blog and enjoyed it and shall return!

French Fancy said...

No wonder you got the 'post of the day' from author blog. It must have been so maddening lately, all this water kerfuffle. Can't they council give you one of those wheelie bins? Am I out of touch or something?

Louise said...

Over from Authorblog, and this is too funny! One cannot really appreciate the end of your story without going to the "patio" story, I do not think. What a lot of work you continue to need! That would be frustrating to me. But at least you have someone that shows up most of the time, weather permitting. I guess there are good things that come from cold weather!

Moannie said...

Good job it wasn't that 'travelling' gnome, the one that went travelling and sent back postcards of his voyages.

Good luck with the rest of the house...

Word verification is :turti, was he an Irish gnome?

cheshire wife said...

Moannie - turti sounds like he could be an Irish gnome but the gnome's name is actually Patrick. He is Irish. What else could it be?

Thank you for wishing us luck, we shall need it.

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